I was treated to a great lesson on influence recently at a conference I attended. Justin Elam’s message was one he has been sharing for a while now about how to equip others by asking questions vs. providing ready answers. The outline of his talk started with this Strauss quote: “The wise man doesn’t give the right answers. He poses the right questions.”
There is a hilarious image I have in mind of a cartoonish, slightly more balding version of me, giving myself a Homer Simpson slap on the forehead and exclaiming “DOH!” as I think back on just how many things I got wrong as I was growing up. For instance….
Should we strive to be the golden child or should we suffer as the pariah? What is the right posture to assume as we move through life? Is this the right choice? Must we choose one of these paths or is there a third choice that leaves us better positioned for true success?
Moms. They are our champions. Whether it is your actual Mom or someone who simply pulls you into their circle and treats you like their child, like the best teachers do, they are fiercely and ferociously for us. They provide us with the unfathomable, unconditional love that we typically only receive from one Other Place, far above this one.
I still need help practicing consistently: quickly changing my response from one of “equal and opposite” reaction to one of service, grace and compassion
My wager is that you know, deep down that there is hope, even in the midst of sorrow and that there is always an “other side” to cross over to and always a bridge you can cross.
Cheers Theme: “Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name..and they’re always glad you came…. You want to go where people know, people are all the same, you want to go where every-bod-y knows your nameeee.”
What if that want, was really more of a need? What if we don’t just want to be with people who are just as messed up as we are, but we really need to be with people, just like we need the very air that we breathe?
1 part 80’s or 90’s TV star – preferably B or C list (sometimes they double this) 1 part lovely single woman who has experienced tragedy, loss and/or heartbreak (or is just profoundly misunderstood by her current boyfriend who is either completely milk toast (or just mean to waiters) 1 part dreamy or dashing single …
When our minds are new and scratch-free, they play the song they are meant to play. The songs that were printed on them by their creator. However, as we age and get hurt or scared, we have a tendency to let the scratches accumulate. We start forming thought patterns that are toxic to ourselves and others. We get caught in a quagmire. We repeat ourselves until, what was once a beautiful, soulful or just a flat-out kick-ass song is ruined.
How many times have we left for work, fully intending to play the part of the ever-composed, quietly observant, always benevolent Jane Goodhall, only to find ourselves at the end of the day, flinging feces at our teammates in a primitive display of dominance and one-upmanship? “You cannot get through a single day without having an …
I have witnessed, up close, the heart of leaders who want nothing but the best for their organizations and share everything they can as soon as they can. I have seen the opposite as well. Leaders who hoard information. Leaders who leverage intelligence and news for their own benefit, high on the “sexy” drugs of status, secrecy and self-importance. I confess, I’ve been (am?) one of these leaders too.
Whether you have experienced “real life” external bullies or not, we all have this tendency to be our own bully. The question you have to ask yourself is. How long are you going to take it, before you say you’ve had enough?
One of the most profound things I have learned in recent years is that the most effective leadership posture I can assume is to strive to be a relentless servant leader who spends his time building into other leaders. This may seem intuitive, but many of us drive so hard to achieve and make a …
Contrarian: Urban dictionary definition Someone who automatically tends to take the opposite point of view from the person to whom they’re speaking, or to disagree with society at large out of a sort of knee-jerk reflex. I love these examples the Urban Dictionary gives for one of their definitions of a contrarian. This definition, and these examples, fittingly, the first one …
patterns.
As someone who is trying to grow closer to others and sprinkle as much salt and light into the world as possible before I go, I am humbled. Dunbar’s number tells me a story.
